The Darkest Child Read online

twenty - seven

  The Fourth of July fell on a Friday. God woke up early, before any of us, and painted the sky the softest shade of heavenly blue.He blew a kiss into the air, offering us a gentle breeze against the summer humidity, and when I opened our front door, I saw that He had sent a fearless thrasher to our house. It stood perched atop the weather-worn edge of the porch with its long tail motionless, and it did not fly away, but lingered until I closed the door to keep it out.

  We went to the parade in town, and returned to find Mama sitting in the kitchen brooding over nothing that made any sense to me. She wanted Harvey to desert his wife and return to her. I steered clear of the kitchen. Martha Jean had spent her time with Velman Cooper, engrossed in conversation, using signs that were foreign to me. I had experienced a pang of jealously that intensified when Velman reached for Judy and she went to him with the ease of familiarity. Mattie and Tarabelle had walked side by side at the parade, and were off somewhere now, probably in the woods.

  Sam and Wallace were out with their friends. I felt lonely.

  Martha Jean must have sensed my mood. She put Judy down for a nap, then insisted I join her in the yard. I found myself at one end of a jump rope, twirling for my younger sisters. Halfheartedly, I twirled the rope and watched Laura jump. She was getting better, and jumped sixteen consecutive times before the rope tangled around her ankles. Edna stepped up for her turn, and as we began to twirl for her, an angel peered down on us and shed one giant-sized, humongous tear right in the dirt at Edna’s feet.We glanced up at a blue sky and a bright sun that did not add up to rain, but another drop fell, and then another.

  Laura began to chant, “The devil’s beating his wife.The devil’s beating his wife.”

  Edna joined in, “The devil’s beating his wife.”

  For all of sixty seconds, just long enough to kick up a little dust, the angel wept in quarter-sized drops, but the sun dried the drops on our arms almost as fast as they fell.We began to twirl the rope again, and Edna jumped to the rhythm of her chant. Suddenly, the twirling ceased at Martha Jean’s end. I saw her head lift and tilt slightly as if she’d heard something, then the rope flew from her hand and she cut loose the most bloodcurdling wail. She began to run for the house. My gaze followed her. She had seen Judy, whimpering in our mother’s grip.

  Mama stood at the edge of the porch dangling our baby sister over the side by one arm. As Martha Jean rushed toward them, Mama swung out once, twice. . . .

  With my hands to my throat, I waited for a third swing that never came.Mama, staring blankly into space, opened her hand and released Judy. I saw my baby sister sail through the air, flipping and jerking, as she began a descent that took her over the rocky incline and down into the gully.

  If there was a sound of impact, I did not hear it over Martha Jean’s wails. She teetered for a moment between the bottom step and the yard, then she ran beneath the porch, between the poles that supported the house. Her feet left the ground and she dived down the incline as she raced against death to be the first to reach her baby.

  I tried to move, but I could not. I stood there staring at the space where my sisters had disappeared until finally Martha Jean’s head came into view. She crawled out of the gully with Judy’s lifeless form cradled in one arm, then she sat on the bank and began to rock back and forth.There was no wailing now, only the rustle of leaves as the wind sang through the trees behind the house, a soft mournful hymn.

  Mama peered down from the porch. At some point she had lit a cigarette, and smoke, barely visible, rose toward the porch ceiling and seemed to settle as a halo above her head. My hands clenched into fists as I moved, first toward the porch, then down onto the road. I began to run through Stump Town toward the Garrisons’ house.

  Somehow Miss Pearl and Mr. Frank understood my breathless, broken phrases. She tried to calm me while Mr. Frank telephoned the sheriff.

  We rode back to Penyon Road in Mr. Frank’s car, and as I climbed from the back seat, I sensed a change had taken place during my absence. Laura and Edna were in the yard where I had left them, Martha Jean was still sitting on the bank cuddling Judy, and Mama was on the porch, but a stillness had settled over the earth. The earlier breeze had dissipated, the humidity had risen to a stifling degree, and we seemed to trudge through quicksand. I saw Miss Pearl lumber up the incline and across the yard toward Martha Jean, and it seemed to take hours for her to get there.When she reached the bank, she dropped to her knees and placed a hand on Martha Jean’s shoulder, and the wailing started up again.

  Mr. Frank stood in the yard and stared up at Mama. “Rozelle, what’s done happened out here?” he asked.

  “The baby fell off the porch, Frank,” she answered with no remorse or grief in her tone. “She’ll be awright. Children fall all the time.”

  “This ’un ain’t gon’ be awright, Rosie,” Miss Pearl said.“You got a dead baby here.You better come on down from there and see ’bout this.”

  Mama did not move, not even when the sheriff and Chadlow arrived. Angus Betts strode across our yard, spoke to Mr. Frank, then squatted beside Martha Jean and gently tried to remove Judy from her arms. Martha Jean rocked faster, screamed louder, and held Judy tighter.

  Chadlow stood with his arms folded across his chest, staring down at the sheriff, but making no attempt to help. Finally Angus Betts rose to his feet and came to stand below the porch where he squinted up at Mama. For the longest time he said nothing, possibly did not know what to say. He ran a hand through his dark brown hair, pressed his thin lips into a tight line, then shook his head and sighed.

  “All I can do is wait for Morris,” he said.“He ought to be here soon. Right now, Rozelle, I don’t know if she’s dead or alive. Looks like she’s dead, but I don’t know.”

  I watched the road for the doctor’s car, and finally it rounded the bend. Dr. Mathis got out and came forward with his black bag, a blanket, and the intention of examining Judy. He quickly found that it was not going to be easy. He dropped his bag to the ground and spread the blanket for Martha Jean to lay Judy down. Martha Jean drew away from him, turned her face toward the sky, and let go a scream that caught in her throat and died as a gurgling moan. It must have frightened Dr. Mathis because he stepped back and glanced helplessly at the sheriff.

  “Well, Morris, is she dead?” the sheriff asked.

  “How the hell do I know, Angus?” Dr. Mathis asked. “I haven’t had a chance to examine her yet.” He turned to Chadlow.“Come give me a hand over here.”

  Chadlow moved toward him just as Tarabelle and Mattie emerged from the rear of the house.

  “What’s done happened?”Tarabelle asked.

  “It’s Judy,” I answered. “I think she’s dead.”

  We watched as Chadlow mimicked the sheriff ’s gestures and ran a hand through his own thinning hair. He leaned forward and began trying to pry Judy from Martha Jean’s grip. He couldn’t do it, not even with the doctor’s help. He raised a hand, as if to strike Martha Jean, but the sheriff shouted a warning to him, “Chad, I think that girl is hurting enough, and the last thing we need is a ruckus out here.”

  That was when I noticed the first group of people moving tentatively toward our house.They slowed at the bend, moved uneasily toward the field, and watched from a distance. As more and more people arrived, they began to make their way up to the yard.

  “Rozelle, what happened here?” the sheriff asked, exasperated now, holding up a hand to keep the crowd at bay.

  “You come on up here, Angus, and I’ll tell you what happened,” Mama said.“That’s my baby down there. I guess if she was hurting, she’d be crying, and she ain’t cried, not once.”

  Angus Betts inspected our steps before placing a foot on them, then he took them two at a time up to the porch. I gathered Laura and Edna and took them with me to sit on the steps. I wanted to hear what Mama had to say.

  “Okay, Rozelle, what happened?” the sheriff asked again.

  “I don’t really know, ”Mama answered, a
nd began to sob in her rehearsed, refined manner. “I was playing wit’ my baby right here on the porch.You know how you do. I was swinging her out, trying to get her to laugh. I don’t know what happened. I swung her out that one time and she musta kicked or something ’cause the next thing I knew she was falling.Wadn’t nothing I could do.”

  She was convincing. I thought for a moment that maybe I was mistaken in what I thought had happened. I thought she had thrown Judy from the porch, but no mother could do that, not even mine. Could she?

  I saw Harvey push through the crowd, followed by Mr. Dobson, then Sam and Hambone. They surrounded Dr. Mathis, and Sam knelt to touch Martha Jean, but she jerked away.

  “This makes no sense,” Chadlow said irritably.“There’s enough of us here to hold her down and take that baby away from her.”

  Dr. Mathis and Mr. Dobson agreed, but Sam told them to wait just a minute. Chadlow ignored him, and gripped Martha Jean by her shoulders. Her throat was rested now, and she began to scream all over again. Her screams were such that they caused the onlookers to back away and Miss Pearl to wring her hands and weep.

  Sam dived toward Chadlow, grabbed the man by his shoulders, and flung him away from Martha Jean. Regaining his balance, Chadlow turned to see that Harvey and Hambone had stepped up and flanked Sam as they squared off against him now. Chadlow was not in uniform like the sheriff; he had no right to a uniform. He wore cuffed trousers and an open-collared shirt with the tail out. He was tall and burly, but I thought Sam stood a chance against him in a fair fight, only nothing about this fight was going to be fair.Chadlow stared at them for a moment, then he inched his shirt up to expose a revolver that was tucked inside the waistband of his trousers.

  I truly believe Chadlow would have shot Sam if the sheriff had not intervened.“Chad, did you come to help me or cause me more headache?” he called down from the porch. “What’s wrong with everybody?” He threw his hands up in frustration.“We’ve got a baby that’s either hurt or dead, and all anybody can think about is fighting. Everybody, just move away from that girl! Just move on away!”

  He stared down at them, waiting for his command to be obeyed, but nobody moved. Finally he drew his gun and aimed it toward the yard.“Get away from her, or I’ll shoot somebody myself.”

  Now they had an out, where nobody would lose face, and after a moment they took it. Hambone clamped a hand on Sam’s shoulder.“ Let’s think about your sisters, man,” he said, and Sam nodded.

  The sheriff glared down at Chadlow, and his lips moved, but whatever it was he wanted to say, he kept it to himself. He holstered his weapon and turned back to Mama.“Tell me one more time, Rozelle, why would you swing a baby out from this porch? Didn’t you think for one minute that you could drop her?”

  “I swung all my children out from here—from the oldest to the youngest. I ain’t never dropped a one ’til today. I’d do anything to take it back.”

  “But you can’t take it back, now can you?”

  “No, Angus, I can’t take it back.”

  “Well, it’s just a mess, Rozelle,” he said. “It’s just a mess.”

  “I know.”Mama wept.

  Softening in the face of my mother’s assumed anguish, the sheriff said, “These things happen sometimes and only God knows why. If she’s dead, and I pray she’s not, I’ll need you to come to my office in the morning, but it sounds pretty much like an accident to me.”

  Down in the yard Dr. Mathis opened his bag and withdrew a syringe.“Angus,” he called out, “I’m going to have to give this girl something.That’s the only way I’ll ever get to examine the baby.”

  “Do what you have to do, Morris,” the sheriff said wearily, “just do it right, will you?”

  Mama moved to the very edge of the porch and studied the gathering crowd for a minute or two, then she gave a short cry, swooned, and fell into the sheriff ’s arms.

  “Some of you ladies come see after her, why don’t you?” he called down.

  I didn’t move, except maybe an inch or two to let Miss Janie and Miss Pearl up the steps. I was trying to see what Dr. Mathis was going to do to Martha Jean.

  “They say Judy is dead, ”Wallace whispered. “Is it true, Tan?

  People saying it all over Stump Town.”

  Wallace must have arrived while I had been watching the doctor. I hadn’t seen him come. I nodded, although nothing seemed real. Judy couldn’t really be dead; she was just a baby.

  I don’t know when Velman Cooper arrived, but I saw him part the crowd and take long strides across the yard. He was still wearing the blue jeans he had worn to the parade and the T-shirt that Judy had nestled her head against. He sat on the ground beside Martha Jean, crossed his legs, and watched as Dr.Mathis tried to get Harvey and Hambone to hold Martha Jean for him.They wouldn’t do it, though, and I thought I understood. Martha Jean would have to give Judy up on her own. Chadlow probably would have helped the doctor, but he couldn’t risk turning his back to Sam.

  Velman began to move his fingers before Martha Jean’s face.The onlookers could not hear the words my sister heard, but I understood them all, clearly. “Martha Jean, trust me. Give Judy to the doctor.Will you let her go?”

  Martha Jean shook her head, but I could tell by the movement of her elbows that she had loosened her grip on Judy. I could not see her fingers from my place on the step, but she was responding to Velman. I knew that.

  “Give her to me, ”Velman signed.“I want to hold her. I need to hold her. If you let her go, I will take you away from here. I promise. Trust me.”

  How he intended to keep that promise was beyond me, and Martha Jean must have wondered, too. The minutes passed like hours with everybody waiting to see what would happen, if Martha Jean would pull away from Velman, if Dr. Mathis would have to give her a shot, if Mama would come down from the porch. None of those things happened. Martha Jean must have wanted to trust Velman because slowly she leaned forward and kissed her baby, then she gave Judy over to Velman.An overwhelming sadness consumed me as Velman gave Judy a final kiss and offered her small, still body to Dr. Mathis, and Dr. Mathis, after an expeditious examination, nodded to the sheriff that Judy was indeed dead.

  For the first time since her fall, I had a clear view of my baby sister. She looked as if someone had put her to sleep dirty, bloody, and raggedy, with particles of glass clinging to her hair.And I guess somebody had.

  My mother, sitting on a chair where the women had placed her, screamed when Dr. Mathis drove away with Judy’s body, and Reverend Nelson mounted the steps to console her. He knelt beside her chair and held her hand as he spoke.“It’s a great loss, sister,” he said.“We’re just on loan to this world, and God has a plan for all of us.We have to trust He has His reasons.”

  “But I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Mama cried. “I’m gonna miss her so much. Already my arms feel empty.”

  Reverend Nelson prayed for all of us, and Mama allowed it. Several people came up to the house to offer their condolences, then they began to ease away from Penyon Road until only the Garrisons and Velman Cooper remained. Miss Pearl helped Mama to stand and walk to the front room, and she told me to get cold water for my mother to drink.

  It was late evening when the Garrisons left our house, and Velman Cooper, having remained silent since walking in with Martha Jean, cleared his throat and went to stand before my mother’s chair.“Miss Rosie,” he said, “I’m taking Martha Jean with me.”

  “No you ain’t,” Mama said in a low, croaky voice.“You ain’t taking Martha Jean nowhere.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I am, ”Velman responded apologetically. “I’m real sorry ’bout Judy, but you been knowing I was gon’ take Martha Jean for a long time now. I done taught you to drive, and the car is parked out there on the road. Here’s the keys, Miss Rosie.” He placed two keys on the round table between the armchairs. “I know I still owe you, and you’ll get it, but Martha Jean is coming with me today.”

  “Look ’round you, boy,” Mama said, gla
ncing around the room. “You think we gon’ let you walk outta here wit’ one of us?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I don’t think nobody gon’ try to stop me.”

  “Harvey? Sam?” Mama implored.

  Sam leaned against the wall and stared at her. His red-rimmed eyes were those of a weary, old man’s. “Let him take her,” he said. “I can’t think about that right now, Mama. Sounds like you done sold her to him anyway for a car.”

  “It ain’t like that, Sam.” Mama pleaded for understanding. “It was more than just a car. I got money, too. Can’t you see I been buying things for this house—for all y’all. I ain’t saying he can’t have her. I’m just saying this ain’t a good time.What people gon’ think?”

  Harvey, sitting in the chair beside Mama, raised his head from his palms. “Who gives a damn what people think, Mama?” he asked.“I wanna know what happened to Judy.”

  “Yeah,” Sam agreed.

  “She fell, goddamit!” Mama shouted, allowing a bit of her true self to emerge from her folds of pretended sorrow. “Where y’all been? By now everybody in Pakersfield know she fell.”

  Harvey choked on a sob.“How did she fall?” he asked.“She didn’t walk outside. I ain’t never seen you touch her, so how she get out there? You ain’t never touched her, Mama.Why you have to go and put yo’ hands on her today?”

  “You hush up wit’ that kinda talk!” Mama snapped. “I don’t wanna hear it in my house or nowhere else, you hear?” She stared at him and clutched her blouse together, as if it might open to expose her guilt. “All my life people done talked about me. Lies. Always telling lies. I ain’t gon’ have no child of mine helping spread lies on me.Y’all don’t know what I been through. I done gave and gave to y’all, and all I ever got back was trouble.”

  When she got on the subject of what she had done for her children, it could last for hours.We listened, but as she talked, I moved about the room gathering Martha Jean’s meager belongings. Martha Jean seemed to be in a sort of daze, standing on Velman’s strength alone, moving with his guidance.